Monochrome's Cooking Disaster
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: Do you want to know how Miss Monochrome and Caramel can make spaghetti? In this fic, our mannequin troupe is showing us how to make spaghetti, but with a very weird and funny way, especially with the way they cook, and how they move. You wanna follow my advice: DON'T cook like those girls. Rated T for mild themes.


**_How to make Spaghetti~!_**

* * *

 ** _NOTE:_** _An original story I made up. However, this is made for one fic of "Miss Monochrome". This one will feature her and Caramel, in this fic on how to make spaghetti.  
Also, to point out, the events you see are professional, and are dangerous in real life. If you plan to mimic these events, then DON'T! DO NOT try this at home, folks.  
Enjoy._

* * *

The narrator spoke, as Miss Monochrome, a girl in a white top and checkered skirt, with white gloves and boots, was by the counter, as she bowed, "Welcome. Do you want to make spaghetti?"

Monochrome said in an auto-tune voice, "Yes, I do."

She turned to four girls, posing as mannequins, dressed in red, blue, green, and yellow chef outfits, as she said, "These are my assistants."

The narrator said, "Yes. Now, follow these instructions, and soon, you will learn to cook like a professional. Our dish is spaghetti."

* * *

 ** _Step 1: Get the ingredients_**

Monochrome said, "We need ingredients…"

Narrator spoke, "Yes. Perhaps, we can get started. First, we must gather all the ingredients."

This includes:  
 _tomatoes  
pasta  
oil  
flour  
baking powder  
an hunched guy  
and beef loaves_

 ** _NOTE:_** _This is NOT how you make spaghetti. Do not mimic what you see._

Yui, the girl in blue, opened the fridge, showing some ingredients, including tomatoes and vegetable oil. Akemi, the girl in red, bent down and tried to lift up a huge sack of flour. Atsuko, a girl in green, texted to the hunched guy, Emmitt. Emmitt replied in a response: " _Derp_."

Monochrome said, "He said he is not interested."

Narrator said, "Perhaps we can make with what we can, until we begin. I'm going to get the rest, and hopefully, we can get started, shortly.

Atsuko was still bent down, trying to lift the flour, with her doll-like arms. Kana, a girl in yellow, said, "Miss Monochrome-sama. Perhaps we mannequins can cook for you."

Monochrome nodded, "Yes, you may."

* * *

 ** _Step 2: Getting Started_**

The narrator said, "Now then, now that we have all we needed, we need a kitchen. Do you know where we can find one?"

Monochrome points at the kitchen, which is a black and white monochrome kitchen. It has a black counter, a black stove, a white refrigerator, a white sink, and other appliances that are black and white, with a monochrome touch. Miss Monochrome said, "We shall cook together."

The narrator said, "Yes, Miss Monochrome has learned the most important rule of cooking – _always have a kitchen with you_."

Monochrome took out a frying pan, as Yui brought in a silver pot full of water.

 **SPLASH!  
** Yui drops the pot, spilling the water. Akemi kneeled down and held a rag in her doll-like hand. Yui said, showing no emotion, "Oops. I will fix this."

The narrator said, "It seems that our five cute mannequin chefs have learned how to make a kitchen neat and tidy, before making a mess. Remember: _always keep your kitchen, neat and tidy_."

Kana and Akemi placed a new pot of water on the stove, as Atsuko was still bent down, reaching for the flour.

"Uh-oh. Poor Atsuko is trying to lift the flour, so badly." He said, "We'll get back to her, later."

* * *

 ** _Step 3: Safety Precautions_**

The narrator said, "As our precious mannequin chefs are preparing the stuff for today's entrée, let's take a moment to discuss safety tips, when cooking food at home, or at a local restaurant."

The oven is shown, as Yui was by the stove. The narrator explained, "Now, the oven can be hot. So, if you want to preheat the oven, be sure NOT to touch it, without proper padding. Also, remember to set it at a proper temperature."

Yui opened the oven, with oven mitts on. She puts the meatballs in the oven, and then closes the oven. The door suddenly opened, as Yui said, "Uh-oh."

She used her stiff arms and closed the oven door, completely.

The narrator said, "And remember: wash your hands, to assure no germs, when preparing food."

Kana started to wash her hands, dipping her hands in the soapy water, with the soap in hand. She dropped the soap into the sink and dipped back inside. She picked the soap up, again, but it fell in the water, again. She went back in, looking for the soap.

Akemi is chopping tomatoes, with a knife, as the narrator said, "And always remember not to cut yourself, when cutting vegetables… otherwise-."

 **CHOP!  
** Akemi's hand was chopped off, with no blood. Akemi gasped, showing no emotion, as she said, "Oh. Dear."

She reattached her hand, as the narrator said, "Of course, chopping your hand off can be messy. So please, be careful, when using sharp knives."

Atsuko was still bending down, trying to get the flour. Kana began to chop carrots and onions. The fumes of the onion got to her, as Kana started to sprout tears from her eyes. She did not cry, since she is an emotionless mannequin.

* * *

 ** _Step 4: Preparing the Food_**

The narrator said, as Monochrome was preparing the food, "Now it the time of this cooking segment we all have been waiting for – adding the food into the pot."

Yui and Akemi were placing pots on the stove. The huge pot was boiling hot water, while the other pot was ready for sauce.

"First, add some butter… Next, add some flour…"

Monochrome placed the ingredients in, as she said, "Butter, flour, oil… now, we add tomatoes…"

Her left arm reached for the tomatoes, but she stopped and beeped, "Oh. I must get tomatoes… I… must… coooooooooooooooooooo…"

She bent down and powered down, in a slur.

 _Monochrome battery power depleted…_

"Oh, for god sakes…" The director moaned.

* * *

 ** _Take 2…_**

* * *

Monochrome was mixing the sauce, as Akemi placed the pasta in the second pot. The narrator said, "Now, after replacing Miss Monochrome's battery, the android is now up and running, preparing the sauce, as the mannequins continue to work."

Kana was chopping air, as Atsuko was still trying to lift up the flour sack.

"Or not."

* * *

 ** _Step 5  
SUPER HAPPY FUN TIME DANCE PARTY!_**

Miss Monochrome and Caramel start to dance together in a J-Pop tune, in the kitchen. They continued to dance, as the stove was lighting up.

* * *

 ** _Step 6: Heating dat Shit_**

The narrator said, "And now, we continue with the cooking. I'm going to get more ingredients, Miss Monochrome. You make sure that the stuff is being heated up."

Monochrome bowed, "Yes, sir. I will do my best."

Minutes later, Miss Monochrome was stirring the pasta and sauce, as she checked the oven, to see how the meatballs are doing. The narrator returned, as Yui was still stirring the pot of pasta, as she said, "Stir."

Miss Monochrome said, "You are missing this."

She turned the oven down, as she said, "Too hot. I am going to set it to 650 degrees."

The narrator called, "WHOA! Miss Monochrome, we wouldn't want to cause a fire in the kitchen."

Miss Monochrome said, "I am sorry. Forgive me."

Atsuko was still bent down, trying to get the flour. Akemi bent her back straight, as she shook her head. Atsuko walked off, as Kana kicked the flour sack down, pouring out most of the contents.

* * *

 ** _Step 7: Preparations_**

A plate is shown, as it is in the middle of the table. Monochrome bowed, as the four mannequin girls approach the food. The sauce is in a pot, while the pasta is in a white bowl, and the meatballs on a silver platter. Yui and Akemi held up a spoon and scooped up some pasta. However, they swung the spaghetti around, tossing it all over the floor and table. Atsuko grabbed some meatballs, and chucked it into Yui. Yui dropped to the floor, as Kana poured a ladle of sauce in the plate, but she missed the plate. She poured it, all over the table. The girls kept making a mess, until Monochrome said, "Stop! Please, control yourself."

Kana held the ladle, but dropped it to the floor. She bent down and picked it up, only to scoop more sauce in.

"Uh-oh. Kana didn't count to 3." The narrator said, "It fell on the floor, so that may come out bad."

Akemi kept tossing the spaghetti, while Yui was covered in tomato sauce, on the floor, immovable.

"Seems that the girls are not trying their best, as their doll-like joints are having trouble with the food preparations." The narrator said.

Monochrome said, "Do your best, friends."

The girls stopped, as Atsuko bent down, splattering her head into the pot of sauce, tipping the pot over. Yui sat up and got up. She slipped on a meatball and dropped to the floor. Akemi was grabbing a plate and threw it to the wall, smashing it into pieces. Atsuko's head was in the pot of sauce, as Kana used her hands to grab the hot spaghetti, not feeling any pain. They continued to make a mess, as the narrator said, "Oh, well, Miss Monochrome. What can YOU do?"

Monochrome said, "Food fight."

She tossed spaghetti at the girls, as they chucked sauce, meatballs, pasta, and other foods at each other, making a mess.

* * *

 ** _Step 8: Decorations and Condiments_**

The narrator said, as a plate of spaghetti is shown on the table, "After several tries and missed attempts, and a whole mess in their kitchen, the girls _finally_ made the perfect dish of spaghetti."

The girls were standing straight, with their bodies and clothing covered in marinara and pasta. They bowed, as they said, "We apologize."

The narrator exclaimed, "Now. Since you have finally made your dish, you will need to top it off with a culinary design."

Monochrome held up a shaker of parmesan cheese, and sprinkled it all over the dish.

"Not just cheese, Miss Monochrome," he said, "You will need more than that, in order for this dish to be rather divine.  
These things include:  
 _Makeup  
Awesome Sauce  
"Luigi"  
Kikuko's beautiful charm  
"Luigi"  
and Magic_."

Miss Monochrome then placed a flower on top of the dish, as she said, "Beautiful."

The narrator said, "Holy Moses, 10 out of 10!"

* * *

 ** _Step 9: Taste Testing_**

Monochrome placed a dish of her spaghetti on the table, as a man in a red suit and glasses sat down.

"And now, before we sample this dish, we will see how others fend to this culinary disas-, uh, masterpiece."

He eats the dish, as he enjoyed it. Miss Monochrome posed, with her left hand out, and her legs straight. The other girls posed, as the man was eating the spaghetti.

"I'll admit that the food isn't perfect, but the atmosphere is divine." He blushed.

"I believe that our girls get the idea." The narrator said, "The food was a 6, but the mannequin background is a perfect 10."

The man smiled, "I like it when I eat, while the perfect mannequins are watching me eat. It's like they enjoy my company."

* * *

 ** _Final Step: Admiration_**

Miss Monochrome and Caramel were sitting in the table, having their dish. But they did not eat.

"Now, the moment you have been waiting for." The narrator said, "Learning from their mistakes, the girls are now trusted and reliant culinary experts, and have chosen to sample their dish. Their future will serve as the highest rank in restaurants, worldwide, letting the world know of their spectacular performance in the kitchen workstation. Now that you know the secrets of how to make this famous dish, Miss Monochrome, how do you feel?"

Miss Monochrome said, as she gave a thumbs-up, "Finished."

The narrator said, "And now, it is time. Time for _me_ to eat it."

Monochrome asked, "Eh?"

He explained, "Why, Miss Monochrome. You cannot eat this… and your mannequin friends cannot eat the spaghetti, by themselves."

The Caramel girls said, "Oh, no?"

 **SPLAT!  
** Yui, Kana, Atsuko, & Akemi splat their faces into the pasta, as Miss Monochrome said, holding up a fork, "Apparently, these girls cannot hold a fork."

She helped herself in the pasta, as she said, "As for me, I will stand out more, with this delicate dish to serve… _Monochrome's Homemade Spaghetti Dinner_."

Crickets chirped, as Miss Monochrome took a bite, while the others were still face-deep in their own created food. Miss Monochrome turned blue in the forehead, and then said, "It is… It is…"

She collapsed on the floor and beeped, "Awwwwwwwwwww-ful."

The narrator said, "One of Miss Monochrome's most important rules, when making food, is to have fresh food to prepare a delicate dish. As it turns out, the pasta was too well done, the sauce was tangy, and the meatballs were still raw from the inside."

Monochrome moaned, as she was lying down, "I'd throw up, if I would."

The mannequins sat up, covered in red sauce and pasta, and threw the dishes to the floor.  
 **SMASH!**

* * *

 ** _Oh, well. Thanks for reading! Now go and make spaghetti (the PROPER way) today._**


End file.
